LETTERS TO THE CHARACTERS
From Bill C. in Washington D.C. -Bill writes...Dear Theresa, You seem like such a sweet young lady, and so lovely. I think you look just great in your wig and glasses but maybe something like a beret would jazz up the outfit a little. I'd love to see that and I'll bet you look great in blue. Anyway if things don't work out for you at the Cranes with the Ethan thing and all I am always looking for someone with your attributes to help me in my big white executive office. You seem loyal and eager and like you would appreciate a good looking boss who's young at heart and very understanding. I love to talk on the phone, especially at night, but it's really hard to get through to me in the daytime. Would you consider ever leaving Harmony? And speaking of leave here's a copy of a very special book I know you'll like. It's called "Leaves of Grass" by the great Walt Whitman. Gotta go now but if you're considering my offer just wear this letter in your top pocket where I can see it on your next taping. It'll be our sign that you're thinking of me. Fondally, Bill
Dear Bill, Thanks for the job offer and the book but my mom says I am too young to be away from her at this time. LOL, Theresa
This comes from Martha S. ( nice stationary!) -Dear Timmy, I just have to know..........what's in a martimmy?? Can I have the recipe? By the way , I just love the way you co ordinate all your outfits, the smoking jacket for relaxing and entertaining (I do a lot of entertaining too) and all the fashion- definitely a GOOD THING.
Dear Martha, Timmy really shouldn't tell you his secrets. Timmy makes those especially for Timmy, and Timmy is special! I can tell you though that since Timmy is mostly batting Timmy uses a touch of Downey and a couple of moth balls to make his martimmies really special like Timmy. Timmy's sorry!!!
From Bill C. in Washington, D.C.- Dear Pilar, I have been watching with admiration the way you run that Crane household, so loyal and keeping a secret for 20 years-WOW- that's discretion. I will be moving soon, maybe with my wife but maybe not but somewhere nice, a big house and will need someone like you to run it. Would you consider leaving Harmony? By the way, I already have a position in mind for your lovely daughter Theresa. What do you think? I'm rich and even more famous than the Cranes?
Dear Mr. C.--My Theresa is in such a state right now and I just don't know what she'll do next. I'm very sorry Mr. C. but I have my whole family to think about and their home is here in Harmony where we are all waiting for a certain someone whom we hope will return someday. Besides I could never leave the Cranes, but thank you very much. You are very kind. Vaya con Dios, Pilar Lopez-Fitzgerald
From Mr. F. Bastard- This message is for Tabitha- I don't really have an address of my own yet; I'm pretty much all over the place but I would be willing to come to Harmony if you and I can strike up a little business deal. I really love that baby boy Timmy, that chubby, chunky, meaty, juicy little baby boy. and if I could get my hands on him right now he'd be right in my belly. Yeah, you get in my belly, Timmy you big chubby baby. I love babies!! How much do you want for that baby?
Dear Mr. Bastard, I can understand your interest in little Timmy but I'm afraid he wouldn't be nearly as delicious as he looks. You see that chubby little doll-face is just that-a stuffed doll, all batting and no brains. I think I can help you though if you come out this way, and the good news is it won't cost you a thing. The most delicious, tasty little girl will be moving here soon and is always coming to visit my neighbor, so I'm sure I can accommodate you and your appetite for a tasty morsel. You'll find she looks quite sweet and tender, sort of like a big plate of baby back ribs, and I will certainly be happy to provide free delivery service. looking forward to meeting you soon . Your friend, Tabby
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