SIR TIMMYFAN'S ORIGINAL JERRY ENDINGS

Queenmarcia's Royal Declaration...trumpets!!!

These are endings written by my loyal subject Sir Rich, a noble yet whimsical jester blessed by the gods with a rich sense of humor and a wonderful wry wit!  He is truly a jewel in our crown.

Theresa brings Ethan a gift-

   Theresa tries to prove her love by presenting some Flaming
Crepes she has made herself for Ethan.  As Theresa approaches Ethan, her foot
snags the carpet causing the contents to splatter upon Ethan.  Mistaking this
as an attack, the Springer Security team jumps Theresa in order to restrain
her.  Luckily, Ethan was not harmed by the attack since he was only a Sears
catalog model before coming to Harmony and has not received enough acting
training in order to express the terrible discomfort he is now enduring.


    Theresa undergoes a makeover in order to win her
man

    Theresa leaves the stage and doesn't return until a
representative from Supercuts walks her out so that Ethan can see the girl
that adores him.  Upon Theresa's return, Ethan can not help himself when he
sees that Theresa now has transformed herself into the likeness of Sheridan.  
As a result of the transformation, Ethan actually makes a facial expression.  
Sadly, the overwhelming emotion causes Ethan's face to cramp.  True love wins
out as Theresa decides that she can be just as natural a blond as Sheridan
and Ethan goes through rehabilitation so that he can both please Theresa and
participate normally within society.  Ultimately, Ethan is able to express
hunger, anger and love while also gaining control of his eyebrows.  Both live
happily ever after.


  Ethan realizes that Theresa is the one for him

  Ethan recognizes that he has misunderstood poor Theresa's
advances all along and accepts her for what she is, a foolish high school
girl with a taste in wigs that would make both RuPaul and Jan Brady cringe.  
The two take each other's hands and exchange a very meaningful gaze.  
Suddenly, Theresa's brother, Officer Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald bursts into the
studio!  Security tries to restrain Officer Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald, yet his
Irish/Hispanic resolve cannot be contained.  Pushing his way through the
throng, Officer Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald moves onto the stage and begins to
struggle with Ethan.  At the end of the struggle, Officer Luis
Lopez-Fitzgerald raises the detached head of Ethan proving once and for all
that he was a robot.  The people of Harmony are shocked at the revelation,
but don't quite understand why at the very heart of the Ethan Crane Automation
is a stuffed hobo doll that stinks worse than an inner-city liquor store.  
Heartbroken, Theresa wanders the town of Harmony before finally accepting a
position at the Chicken Coop restaurant.  When asked how she is doing by
friends and family, Theresa answers, "Well, the masks are sweaty and
uncomfortable, but at least they hide my grief."  Theresa dies a spinster who
lacked even the comfort of the internet due to some greenish face that
resembled Nanny, from the old Nanny and the Professor show.

LMCO

(LAUGHED MY CROWN OFF!)

Don't be shy,If anyone else has a contribution, please email here 

click dot for back to story titles