September--The leaves fade into the background as more crap rises to the surface. Obviously the writers and producers haven't read any of the crap about them that's smeared on every discussion board, message center , chat room and I'm sure even their own so called survey. Just the word survey insinuates that someone sees it. Could it be...the blind priest. That survey must get flushed like a big crap--as soon as it happens. They sure have pulled more and more of that crap where it looks like you rewound your vcr from yesterday to remember what you saw every day for the last five days. Now, as regular as crap, you watch the first segment only to see one or two minutes of new material. The rest is entirely crap from the previous episodes. Why do they have to pull this crap on us -they told us about how we should set our vcrs to record the show now that school's back, ( gee thanks, nbc, we 're so full of crap, we never could have thought of that little golden nugget of advice) so don't they know we can watch that crap all by ourselves if we get a bad head injury or something? Fans are turning into former fans all over the discussion board right there at nbc talk city. You'd think they could at least give a crap about that. Let's just hope they get their crap together and keep our show on the air!!! Everyone is grumpy without his daily crap.! We certainly see enough commercials to know that.
OK, we know it's only been a few days in the town of Harmony, (in fact today is Sept 14th in the real world and it started on Aug 12th in Harmony), but their clothes must sure smell like crap, huh! They've been wearing the same clothes for so long the only thing holding those clothes together at this point is the dirt! We're sick of that blue halter top piece of crap that really looks crappy with a jacket on poor Whitney. She looks like a crappy photograph, underdeveloped and overexposed! Charity's clothes still look like she got them thanks to charity. Obviously her sniveling mom was down in the dumps when she got that crap. Kay's walking around in two bandanas and an unworried look. That nightgown she bought for her seduction crap was cut to see level, and since when does wallmart have a catalog. Tabby's more upholstered than clothed. She looks like a 1975 calendar for trash and treasure. If she loses her powers, she can always earn a living doing scarecrow work in those outfits, with minime-crow for the short crops. I guess poor Simone has to wear that butt ugly crappy top so no one will notice how much cuter she is than Kay and Whitney. Those two wouldn't have a shape if it weren't for their adams apples. And how about all this shirtless crap for the men--why can't they have trousers to match? Let's just say the dressing on the salads at the Lobster Shack is better than the dressing on some of the characters.
What's with all the grafting on the family trees crap? They've got about six or seven characters from the shady side of the tree ready to show up if they ever decide to write another story. Some characters didn't get much crap to say or do this month, so i really don't have crap to say about them. One guy with a small part though, the priest, had a pretty big ration of crap laid on him just the other day...he's blind...he's not...then he is. That's real crap! But the holy water was some of funniest crap they've shown.
We still don't know what kind of crap T. C. is hiding in his shed , but he's obviously got more inside information than his wife, the surgeon. They insinuate he was once a go getter, but now he has to make two trips. As characters go, he gives dullness a bad name. By the way, would it bother you if your doctor checked your heartbeat in a noisy area, or anywhere for that matter, by putting his or her ear to your chest? I might think that was sort of a crappy technique. Wouldn't a physician try a little cpr or at least have more than a handbag to work with when going to the scene of a fire. Does aspirin help schitzophrenics? How about having her breathe in , breathe out , have a couple of martimmies and call you in the morning!
I don't want Tweedledumb to die in the fire, but some have expressed the desire that she find peace for her soul, and the sooner the better. Why can't that angel float Tweedledumb out a window like she did for Tweedledee. Joannakathryn ,( who names all the tweedle characters,) says Reilly is a Tweedleditz! How can a house fire burn that long--if they keep this crap burning much longer it'll be declared a second sun for our solar system. And all this crap started because somebody decided it was easier to drive to radio shack, spend a crapload of cash on magically perfect video cams ,( I almost choked on that crap,) than it was to drive the short distance to Castleton to see your twin sister whom you haven's seen in twenty years! How far is Castleton really , you ask --Beedog can answer that:
"All I know is that you have to buy a bus ticket to get from one
place to the other, but a friggin' DOG can get there and back in
about 15 minutes (not counting the time it takes to morph into an
old lady and beat some serious ass)."
Tweedledoofus, the police chief couldn't think to dial 911 when he was trying to connect to Tweedledumb's computer , or to ask for the fire cheif''s fireproof jacket for himself or Miguel--that was crap. The whole idea of the crew and media was crap in the purest form, so crappy it's not even worth more attention on the crap page!
Frank Lomax is still tripping all over himself and his I.Q. to set himself set up with some tasty jailbait. He's definitely got a hole in his head, but that's beside the point. And what about that pizza dough on the head crap...he doesn't have the time to see who it is, even though he just bugged the crap out of Whitney about the stalker. Obviously the secret of his great success is still a secret. He may eventually get somewhere with his investigation if Theresa keeps spewing that crap to Whitney about Ethan much longer. Every installment of crap she dishes out to Whitney must make her want to throw up twice as much as she already does. Whitney's gonna end up with a mouth the size of a walk in closet in more ways than one-she'll be throwin' up and speakin' up if Theresa doesn't get that one track mind off the wrong side of the tracks. That incident at the Chicken Coop looked like stalking to me...come on...Ethan's inside eating, she's outside spying, plotting...isn't that what stalkers do? And do I need to mention the crap about that costume. I can't believe she didn't spill something--thanks Tweedleditz for letting Tweedletwit off the (fish) hook.
Kay has pulled some really good crap, which has probably contributed greatly to the show's popularity , so I crown her Queen of crap, at least for this month. That slap and the forgiveness that ensued was the biggest pile of crap for anyone to believe. Of course, you would beat the crap out of anyone who did that to you and ask questions later. She looked repentant a couple of times there, then did the backslide . Apparently, she has a set of values deep down in there somewhere, she just doesn't want to break the set up. Too bad Tabby's not a dog any more, that would have been nice for Kay having another dog right next door to keep her company since Miguel doesn't give a crap about her.
And that basement crap is getting old. Tabby , aka Tweedledemon, has worked her fingers to the bone trying to kill Tweedledumb and Tweedledumpling, and all she has to show for it is bony fingers. And why didn't Tweedledumb just smack the crap out of her when she pulled that computer demon crap? Then, there's the dog and the bracelets--we were expecting much better crap in the form of the monster we were promised in the spoilers. Where was Tweedledoll's dog trainer outfit? Martha Stewart must be so disappointed. Tweedledemon's transition to the demon dog was a howling success, but now we gotta see more of that fainting crap with what was that--mustard gas eminating from her mouth--good choice-goes well with ham.
And speaking of non kosher crap, Hank and Sheridan? We want our passion, yes, like the name says, and the only thing close to it so far , (well other than that disturbingly tense raslin' scene in the kitchen with the three guys) has been Sheridan and Luis. They belong together, so let's cut the crap and get 'em an HBO special if we need to, but please...a little passion is in order here. Hopefully, before Sheridan is through telling Hank about her past, he will be a thing of the past. Hank's got about as much class as a stained greeting card. And now we see this FBI file crap on him....come on , Tweedelditz, Sheridan is our babe-o-liscious role model. Don't hook her up with another loser..you know she's gonna do that whining crap about it forever...how long did we have to hear all that Jean-Luc crap! And what in the holy crap did this woman do for crying out loud--kill the Alhambra man while somebody was doing the me and Alhambra water makin' friends thing with him. You better not give us any cheap crap on this one. We want some good crap here, now OK? We definitely deserve it after all the flashback havin', secret chit chattin', never gettin' to the point repetitive conversation havin, inconclusive never ending crap you have dumped directly in our living rooms in broad daylight and aimed it right at our younguns! Please don't pull that crap next month. We actually love the show but some people won't keep taking the crap like we will , and we want you to stay on the air.
And now Sir Timmyfan, knighted for his bold contributions in the name of actual entertainment will lead Queenmarcia and her loyal subjects in a word of prayer.
"Dear Lord, please see Charity and her Mother through this
tragedy and assist this humble servant in removing these hard
water deposits from her sacred altar..." - Pilar (at her sink
with her head slightly tilted
We are very amused...queenmarcia
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a royal thank you for special contributions by my loyal subjects, timmyfan, beedog and joannakathryn , background modified by manndog and to A.J.LuV's GIF Gallery for comic good vs evil